Monday, December 6, 2010

If Better At All

That's some bad hat, Harry. --- Don't you have anything of your own to say? --- I'm saying it. You need a woman, Harry. You find any good ones left over, you send them to Uncle Saul. --- Saul, sometimes you're a caricature of yourself. --- Ah, whadda you know from funny? --- Saul goes in, Jones goes out :  neighbours meet in passing, friends meet for drinks :  Jones and Temple drink and talk :  Temple drinks and Jones talks :  (you talk too much, Jones) :  --- I need to write, Stephen :  I need to change the world.  Even to change one person :  to make someone see a little different :  that can change the world.  But nobody will read me. --- (Because you won't let them.) --- Listen, Jonesy :  my exhibition opens tonight :  you'll be there. --- How come you can do it, Stephen :  what makes us different? --- Different?  I'm not a wanker, Jonesy.  I'll see you tonight. --- (Lift your service to his fingertips, Jonesy :  he can help.)


Temple's exhibition to his peers and artists and Temple's introductions to Lilac the painter to Hercule the filmmaker to Jasmine the musician to Harry Jones the aspiring-wantstochangeoneperson-writer :  all these people here to see Temple and Temple's photographs :  none of them here for Jones, but he wants to be here for them.  (They don't care, Jonesy) :  Hercule wants Temple :  Lilac wants images :  only Jasmine will talk :  only questions from Jones and more booze for Jones.  (You drink too much, Jonesy :  be careful with them :  what you say.)  They mill about and they talk and they talk and none of them talk to Jones and only Jasmine will talk but not to him now to someone else and he mills about in silence with glass and glass of artgallery wine trying to hear what they're saying but he can't understand their compositions and their dynamic ranges and their semantics and their semiotics and their symbionts :  Lilac the Painter dismisses him :  what do writers know of the image? :  Hercule the Filmmaker doesn't see him :  too interested in Temple --- Two masters of the image, Mr Temple :  we can do well together. --- I don't think so, Hercule :  I work in stills --- (Who wants to make a film with him?) :  Jones finds Jasmine :  he thinks she likes him :  he wonders what kind of music she writes and if he could write lyrics for her and who they might be in five-ten-fifty years when they're older and they love each other and they still work together and live together and have galleries and novels and records and fans and peers and awards and (she's staring at you Jonesy) :  better say something.  (You talk too much, Jones.) --- None of your friends will talk to me :  I'm Jones. Harry Jones :  I write. --- Hello, Jonesharryjones.  I'm Jasmine. --- Jasmine :  what do you do? :  what do you think? :  will you read? :  who do you know? :  can you introduce me? :  can she help? :  can I get in? :  can I be them? :  I can't see what's different with them than with me :  why won't they talk? There's something happening here but you don't know what it is :  too many questions :  one at a time :  talk to her :  she can help.  I can't talk I can't talk :  I fail :  I have nothing to say :  do you, Mr Jones?  Jones falls over and trips on his own feet.  You drink too much, Jones.


Temple and Saul meet in the hallway in the morning :  Temple come to see Jones :  Saul leaving to start the day's business :  --- Hello, Saul. --- Morning, Stephen my boy.  Rough night? --- He was a drunken fool :  I wasn't far behind. --- Oy, you boys are meshuggah.  Need women. --- Saul, you're a caricature of yourself, old boy. --- Temple and Jones talk again :  they do nothing else together :  Jones' apartment is the mess his head is in :  can't keep himself in or out or always in between :  --- Stephen, who were those people? How do you know them? --- People in art, Jonesy :  wankers :  I try to stay away from them. --- They can help, Stephen :  I can touch them, I know. --- They won't have anything to do with you, Jonesy :  it's not your scene.


Jasmine the musician plays underground touching ears in waves of experiment with avantgarde vibrations in Jones' mind standing at the back talks to her in the aftersilence :  --- Harry!  Good to see you. --- Hi, Jasmine.  I like your music.  (Music, music :  the angel must have her line :  after all, it's her song.) --- Jasmine, I need your help :  I want to be like you :  to be out there and to touch people like you and Hercule and Lilac do. --- You're better as yourself, Harry. --- But I'm not myself :  I write myself :  myself is my stories :  is you. --- (You can be no-one else, Jones.)


You can be someone else if Jones can try to see them :  he knows who they are now :  Harry Jones is one of them :  they can talk to him now because he can talk to them because he learns how because Jasmine can teach him and then Hercule can teach him and then Lilac can teach him and he sits with them and he drinks with them and he talks with them and he knows how to talk to them because he hasn't been home :  he doesn't know how to be home :  he's been with them and talking images with Lilac and films with Hercule and music with Jasmine and when he goes home it's not his world anymore :  it's not his scene and he can't talk to anyone who's real.


That's some bad hat, Harry. --- You used that one already, Saul. --- Still a bad hat. --- Doesn't matter about the hat :  tonight's different :  tonight I'm a writer and I'm an artist and I'm one of them and I don't think you'd know what I mean, old man :  it's not your scene.  (It's not your scene.)  Tonight's the scene :  the climax :  the finale :  the third act :  the denouement :  tonight is the debut of Harry Jones the Writer :  Harry Jones the Artist :  Harry Jones the Lilac :  the Hercule :  the Jasmine :  the Temple :  --- Jonesy, I told you not to. --- Stephen, I need to :  I can change the world now.  If I change one person, I change the world. --- Jonesy boy, you can't change a damn thing. --- Everyone can change the world, Stephen :  you just need to try.  That's what they've shown me :  I'm theirs now. --- Jones, you're a wanker.  You're talking shit :  nobody will listen when you talk shit, like them.  I warned you to stay away, but you didn't listen :  you're not you anymore :  you're them and you're talking shit.  Well, congratulations, Jonesy, you did it :  you changed someone :  you didn't change the world, but you changed yourself.  (If you had nothing to say, Jones :  if the world didn't change :  if nothing and nobody changed :  if not for the better :  if better at all.)

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